Still Alive


For those of you who might be wondering I am still alive.


I have started to settle into my job. I have a room that is starting to look like a real classroom. I have students who are starting to act like real students and not wild animals that have been with out a teacher for weeks. I have started academic team, which I love but does take some time. School is going well now. I still come across things that everyone else knows from previeous meetings and I am just now figuring out, but it is not too bad. most things I got now. My class is up to 16. they can be stressful, but they are mostly great kids who want to learn.


At home, brad and I are doing well. We are still dealing with depression, and I have moved on to anger. I have been struggling with the fact that very little makes me joyful right now. SO that is my goal this week and next, til fall break. I am going to look for the joy in each day. and not just hte obvious joy, that christ has saved me and I don't have to go to hell, but the other joys and belissings that he send. and I will try not to be a mean, bitch who snaps at people, and is angery about the way "life" has treated me. If you see me starting to be this other Ellice, the mean one, please be patient with me.


At play, I have rejoined choir, which I missed this week because of exhaustion, but I really enjoy it. Bunco this month was fun, I won the booby prize. we are going to go watch Isaac's, Melissa's son's, Soccer game today. I am looking forward to that. SS is having a get together which I am also looking forward to. Volleyball started. We had enough people, joel played too, but we lost. It was a really close game. We could have beat them. We just have to pull ourselves together into one team and then I think we can go far. we are also getting shirts this year, which I think is way, way, fun.


Well I just wanted you to know I was still alive.

Comments

Tami said…
It’s good that you have that room since it has its own sink and bathroom. You are on your own out there too. If they ever want to give you an assistant, I am here. I still miss being with the kids.
I am sorry about your depression. I can truly say I have been through a deep depression, but I know it was not as bad as what you are going through. It is great you are staying busy; just don’t let anything else get between you and Brad and you will be fine. One day something will click and your depression will leave. For me, it felt almost like I had been wearing a glove over my entire body. I unrolled that glove from my head down and that was that. I still have negative feelings about things sometimes, but I am no longer depressed about it. Something else too; the depression left me at a most unexpected time – I was watching a movie and it made me realize that things WERE going to get better – and they did. I put all the negativity behind me and did everything I could to keep those bad thoughts from my mind. Where I was making no effort to be happy (like you are), I really began to TRY each day and it finally worked. I just don’t go there in my head any more. It will be different for you, but you will get there. You are a strong person, Ellice!
9/27/08, 9:08 AM
Ellice said…
Thanks Tami
9/27/08, 12:20 PM
Anonymous said…
I barely get time to comment on this one and you have another post! Yikes! Okay...thanks for sharing the videos of your room - it's fun to picture where you are now...surrounded by a lot of little people, of course.

I don't blame you for depression or anger or any of that - I'm impressed with how strong you've been overall...I'dve either been pissed or a wreck long before this if I'd been in your shoes. But you know (and keep reminding yourself) that you have a good God - and that's pretty much what my advice would be anyway, so you're just fine!

Hmm...did you know it's hard to blog and listen to "Day-o" at the same time? Try it sometime.
9/30/08, 6:48 PM
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